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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?